Thursday, May 03, 2007

Quietly slip back into the conversation...

I took time off because I have been struggling with spiritual pride and wondered if the blog was contributing to it.

I am still not sure of the answer to that, but I do know that a month without blogging has resulted in much more attention to my personal journal and prayer time. And I have been more aware of my prayers being answered, which leaves me feeling humble and grateful indeed.

So, I am back, having fasted from blogging during Eastertide. Next year maybe I'll give it up for Lent instead, LOL.

(A lovely side effect of the blogfast is that I have been hanging out at your places. What luxury!)

One last time:

1. Have I done my daily spiritual practice?

Yes. I seem to be making a habit of getting on my knees a few times a day and it is wonderful. I think my knees are even getting used to it.

2. What unexpected opportunities has God put in my path since I last checked in?

A friend in crisis reached out to me and I spoke plainly to her about how God could (and would) help her cope with her situation. It was an amazing conversation.

3. Of the things I committed to doing, which have I done or not done since the last check in?

I did what I committed to doing.

4. What am I being called to do between now and the next time I check in?

I probably won't do this list again on the Big Dunk, but I think God is continuing to ask me to speak about him with people. Not complicate things too much, but just express as simply as possible:

Without God- Misery
With God- Joy

4 comments:

Mary Beth said...

I HAVE MISSED YOU!

I have been checking in often. Seemed wrong to leave a message to say, "yea, Rachel, go with that spiritual practice, and BTW, write some other stuff too!"

but that's what I was thinking. The devil. Sorry.

Rachel's Big Dunk said...

Ha!

Get thee behind me Satan! LOL.

I am glad to be back! In fact, I surreptitiously wrote a few comments on other people's blogs, thinking that perhaps that wouldn't count.

This last month was sort of a combo of fasting, penance and obedience rolled into one. (Maybe a touch of self mortification thrown in for medieval good measure.)

The fact is, I have been struggling terribly with both my daily practice and spiritual pride. (Ironic I can struggle with both at the same time, but that's the devil, isn't it?) So the blogectomy was a way to address both. Spend more time at prayer and wean myself off the 'comments' fix.

Plus, and this is big, my spiritual director suggested that I do it and I am learning that although obedience does not come naturally to me, it is such an important part of spiritual growth as a Christian I chose to say yes.

But I am back, baby! And happy to see you!

Mother Laura said...

Welcome back Rachel! I am glad that your blogfast was so fruitful and also glad to read you again.

The pride and humility thing is almost impossible....as Benjamin Franklin ended up discovering when he made a serious effort to track his progress in many virtues with charts, etc. Did well in many but concluded he could never be humble because then he'd be proud of his humility :-).

But seriously, I think the key is not putting ourselves down or pretending our gifts aren't real but gratefully thanking God for them and putting them at the service of the community.

Rachel's Big Dunk said...

Good points, Mother Laura!

It is true that striving for humility opens one up to all kinds of insidious pride....

Service is probably the key. And gratitude.