Sunday, March 18, 2007

Thoughts before the Eucharist

There are a lot of priests... each wearing their clerical collars. The women still look to me like their collar is a badge of honor. There is an air of "I told you so" about them. Maybe the men look that way too, come to think of it.

In another life, I might have wanted to be a priest. To be the one to stand at an altar and ask God to turn a lowly cracker and a sip of common wine into the body and blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ. I am still in awe every time I see it.

But I am not sure I could navigate the humility and hubris of the collar. I am not sure I would ever get over feeling self conscious.

And then there is the small matter of running a church.




8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha HA! Sweetie, the key is not to get over the feelings that keep you from following a call but to get through them.

I treasure every hesitation and fear, knowing that means the importance of doing my best has not worn off. Last night I was at a field ed interview, and after admitting that adminstration is something I do not fear, one of the women asked what I do fear. They were amused by list, but each person in the room let out a chuckle while nodding understandingly. Imagine me doig that now for you!

Amy- who is not really anonymous!

Rachel's Big Dunk said...

I love your comment, Amy...because even if I am not called to a vocation, it rings true with EVERY thing that God calls us to. There is always an element of fear and doubt. Which eventually draws you towards faith.

By the way, I really think you ought to start your own blog. You write so beautifully!

Adam said...

I'm not clear whether or not you like the idea of women wearing collars. :)

Rachel's Big Dunk said...

Hi Adam,

I am too new an Episcopalian to have a theological viewpoint, but I personally have no problem with women clergy.

That is not to say that I think, for example, that the RC Church ought to allow women to be priests. It's their call.

Is that wishy washy enough of an answer? LOL!

Rachel's Big Dunk said...

Just to clarify (since comments don't allow for edits once they are posted) It's not that I think the RC shouldn't have women priests, its that I think each church should decide for themselves based on their prayerful understanding of the theology. I have very dear friends who opposed allowing women into the Episcopal priesthood on theological grounds. Not social. Not personal.

So, on a personal or social level, I am fine with women clergy. The Bishop who confirmed me is a woman. For a year or so we had a woman priest at Grace. Last weekend I took communion from a woman.

Theologically, I am not clear enough on the arguments to really have an opinion.

Adam said...

I see. My objections are purely theological, not social or personal, like you say. It would be much easier to not be opposed to the ordination of women, but I just can't do it. I used to be the biggest supporter of it, but I can no longer hold that position.

Mary Beth said...

Um, I would posit that you DO very definitely have a vocation - a call. Maybe it's not to ordained ministry...but it's there loud and clear.

Rachel's Big Dunk said...

LOL, MB.

My inner Pentecostal minister sometimes gets into theological arguments with my alter ego RC Priest. Especially when I am at the lectern belting out the days old testament reading.

Give me poisonous snakes and strychnine. Or is that a chasuble and thurible?

Darn I'm confused.