It is said that once you commit your life to Christ, the devil takes great delight in tempting you in various ways. While I don't necessarily believe in little guys with horns and pointing tails, I do notice that I am tempted by things from my past on a regular basis. Things I know for a fact aren't good for me.
For instance, when I first quit smoking 16 years ago, I would have dreams in which I smoked. I would wake up in a panic, trying to remember if I had really lit up, or if it was just a dream. Sometimes, in the dream, I would realize I was smoking and get upset.
Same thing when I gave up sugar and refined flour. I recently had a dream I was chowing down on some kind of gooey muffins and woke up feeling like I had betrayed myself.
So it is with tarot reading. About a year ago I decided that I wasn't going to read for people (or myself) anymore. I began to feel, more and more strongly, that it was too easy to inadvertently cause harm to people. I am not a licensed therapist. I am not God. (LOL, neither are therapists!) So it is inappropriate for me to be giving people advice about how to live their lives. At that time I had just finished reading the bible in a whirlwind 90 days and came to the conclusion that while there are instances of God's people with the gift of prophecy who were able to use it for God's purposes, it was too much hubris for me to put myself in that category. And more importantly, I knew that there were times when the people I read for were using my reading as a substitute for their own relationship with God, and that is clearly proscribed in scripture.
So I put down the cards and haven't picked them up since.
But here's the thing: Like my dreams of smoking and eating cranberry walnut muffins, tarot occasionally comes back to haunt me. After so many years of looking at the world through the patterns of the cards, I still, on occasion, 'read' the signs. I'll be driving along and look at the sky and it will remind me of Waite's knight of swords. Or I will realize that I am in the midst of a 'Sun' cycle. And a couple of times in the past week or so have been asked to read for others. It is an opportunity for witness, I suppose, when I gently but firmly say no, and explain why.
Out of the blue, today, a friend from one of my old online tarot communities sent me a spread of cards and asked for help interpreting them. I looked at it and all kinds of things sprang to mind. The cards were shouting (as they often do) and it was an act of will and obedience to send her a note explaining that I would pray for her instead.
God, give me the strength to do your will in all things. Let me do what is healthy for myself and others. Let me be a light in the lives of others. Let me trust in your will.