I admit, I haven't felt particularly penitential during this Lent. There have been many other things going on and it seems that once I came to grips with the difficulties, I just kind of sailed along. I chose not to confess on Ash Wednesday because it didn't feel like the right time. But I am feeling called to do so before the Great Vigil of Easter, so I asked Fr. Rich today if he would hear my confession after the 3 hour service on Good Friday. He asked if I had a preference as to which priest. (There will be 4 on hand that day!)
Frankly, I am going to be nervous and shy no matter who it is. Does one ever get over that, I wonder? Fr. Rich emailed me this afternoon to say that he will be available to hear it.
This will be my first time confessing to one of my parish priests and it feels a little different. For one thing, there is no confessional box, so we will do it either at the altar rail or in the robing room (if there are a bunch of people milling about...). For another thing, I have only confessed twice before and both times were with my spiritual director.
But I feel sure that I am called to do this. I know that during Lent I have come face to face with some aspects of myself that draw me away from God. Sins, in other words, that impede my relationship with Him.
As Holy Week approaches, it feels right to begin to set the wheels in motion to offer to God the darkness hidden within my soul.
The Light is just below the horizon now...
Can you sense it?