For all your prayers, my friends. Things are looking better this week.
We still aren't sure what we are doing with our business, but we have gotten past the despair stage and are squarely into 'curious'.
What I mean by that is that we are curious about how this will unfold and what the future holds. We have less fear. We seem to be trusting that God has a plan and will reveal it as he wills. There are still wrenching decisions to make, but we don't have to make them today.
Plus, one of the amazing things about being a Christian is that there is always the potential for redemption in suffering. God's grace infuses even the darkest moments. He can use the bad for good. So even in sadness or despair, there are elements of grace. I have been finding them, sifting through the grief to capture them. And in so doing, notice that the grief recedes.
A week into Lent and I have failed at almost everything I promised. I haven't been reading the New Testament every day. I haven't been celebrating Compline with my kids every night. I have been cussing a blue streak. About the only things I have actually managed so far is the 'no tv' and no meat on Fridays.
But I have felt close to God in the midst of it. I pray that he will forgive me, even as I believe that he has already done so.