Thursday, September 07, 2006

I see God

in the relationships in my life.

Sometimes it is harder to see him. Sometimes I have to look very carefully. But if I perservere, I begin to get a sense of the presence of God in my day to day stuff and it leaves me feeling grateful.

I have been having a hard time with a friendship lately. I have been feeling heavy and weighed down because she is in the midst of a crisis and I have been her shoulder to cry on for awhile now. Yesterday, that heaviness came to a head I began to feel so tired I couldn't even function.

I asked Jesus to help me navigate this situation. He pointed to a pool of water at his feet. There was a red crescent shaped image in the water, which I realized was a reflection of the gash in his side.

"Taste it" he said.

I cupped my hands and lifted the cool water to my lips.

It was sweet.

The reflection of pain is not my pain.

So I called my friend today and said what was on my mind and shared my feelings and we talked for a long time. And I came away understanding that this process of navigating a friendship, is indeed, a gift from God. By speaking truthfully to one another, we enter a realm which requires courage and compassion and love. We can hold one another's pain without allowing it to drag us under. We can be selfless without self destructing.

1 comment:

e-Mom said...

It's a fine line. We so want to help. Caregivers can indeed burn out. It sounds like you've found a way to be a conduit for the love of Jesus, without trying to be Him yourself. I need to remember that, thanks.