Before church, I decided to pull another Hebrew letter. I got Dalet. Dalet is a door. It is the doorway through which we enter God. It is the same door through which God can enter us. Dalet is bent over, weighed down. It is a time when we might feel burdened by all that we carry. We may feel poor in spirit, or in our physical selves. It may be a reminder that others feel poor, too, and that we can help ourselves by helping them. Mostly, for me, Dalet reminded me that I need to stay open for the workings of the Holy Spirit.
So, I went off to church today feeling like something has shifted within me. I am emerging from the darkness. I am seeing the glimmer of light.
I dropped the kids off for Sunday school. Nguyen and I found a pew on the side where the children could join us later in the service. Almost from the opening notes of the prelude, I began to weep. I was listening for you, Beloved! The church was dark this morning. It was a grey day, and the light was muted and dim. I liked it.
For the first time, I felt at home in the liturgy... singing the parts that are supposed to be sung without having to look at the book. Remembering the tune for the psalm. Singing the "Amen".
And the Sermon was great. It was given by one of the new Associate Priests.... a woman who spoke beautifully about what it meant for a 15 year old girl to encounter Gabriel. What it means for US to be open to God. Dalet.
During coffee hour, the Rector asked me when I was going to fill out a membership form.
The time approaches.
I pray that I am an open door when you appear on my doorstep. I pray that I welcome you warmly and with love.
I am waiting...