Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Shock and Awe.
The perfidy. The treachery. It can't be true. But. it. is.
Johnny Damon has signed with the Yankees.
Dogs and Cats living together. Tsunamis. Hurricanes. And now this?!?! I suddenly believe all that 'End Times' hysteria. It is, truly, the end of the world as we know it. At least for New Englanders.
Why, Johnny? Why? Couldn't you have chosen ANY other team? Did it have to be the arch enemy? Our most loathed rivals for the last 100 years? The Hatfields to our McCoys?
Stunned. I am stunned.
I knew when I read the news that I had to call my poor, unsuspecting father, safely tucked away in the wilds of Newfoundland. Even though the Toronto paper proclaimed "Idiot on the move: Damon's a Yank" Dad won't see the headlines for several more hours at least. He sounded so innocent when he answered the phone. So, vulnerable, really.
"Dad, Damon's a Yankee."
"What? Who is this?!?!"
"Dad, it's me. Johnny Damon just signed with the Yankees."
Innocence shattered. Not to mention the start of what was promising to be a lovely day. Thank God my step mother had already left for the morning. It gives Dad time to pull himself together before facing her grief and outrage.
Damon has gone over to the dark side.
No telling what God has in store for us now.