Sunday, July 09, 2006

New! Improved!

Ok. Feeling a tad more grounded today. The third day after confession. I don't know why the floaty feeling can be so unnerving, but by late yesterday afternoon I really felt like I was just going to jump out of my skin. All that energy is rare for me, I guess.

Anyway, I called Fr. P because it became ridiculously important for me to talk with someone who knew what this process is all about. I felt an almost immediate sense of relief when he called me back. Like, ok, I am not going insane. (Sometimes a close encounter with God creates such a sense of melancholy and longing I think I am just going nuts.) As always, he had simple, understandable and infinately wise comments, which I put into practice as soon as I hung up. (Pray. Tell your family you love them. Let Christ's love move through you, to them.)

Today, church was wonderful. I am growing to really love it at Grace. Communion was amazing, too, like a God-seed being planted in fertile ground.

And yes, I had a big, goofy, grin all morning long.

3 comments:

Nancy said...

Rachel,
Your account of your experiences of confession and reconciliation and the days after are very moving. I've considered doing something like that myself, but am too new in this church to consider at this time. If it's ever to be, it will be. Also can really relate to your comment, "(Sometimes a close encounter with God creates such a sense of melancholy and longing I think I am just going nuts.)" I react to such things the same way and have wondered sometimes....
May peace and joy dwell in your heart.
Nancy

Rachel's Big Dunk said...

For me, God seems to be in charge of the timing of all these things. I, too, am very new to the Episcopal church. (Started attending about 8 months ago and was confirmed in June...) But God just keeps planting these little seeds and inviting me to act on them, and always, when I do, the gift is immeasurable. I think you will know exactly when it is the right time to do something like this!

About the longing. I think sometimes the closer I draw to God, the more painfully aware I am of the gulf between us, which is where the longing comes from. Perhaps there will be a day when I will discover, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, that I was there all along. I'll keep you posted, LOL.

Kathryn said...

Oh, I do so identify with the goofy grin feeling.
Blessings on you, Rachel :-)x