Arranged

I went to the Vespers service today at the Church of the Blessed Sacrament.  It was great timing, as I have been struggling lately with doubts.  Am I doing the right thing?  Is this really what God wants?  Is he REALLY calling me, or is this all a figment of my imagination?

As I looked at the beautiful church and listened the psalms being sung in Latin, I thought that maybe my upcoming confirmation is like a marriage that my Father has arranged for me.  I am the nervous bride who doesn't really know my betrothed all that well, but I know my Beloved is from a good family and that it will please my Father to marry him, so I am going to trust that, as is often the case with marriages like this, I will grow to love with a passion and depth I can't yet imagine.  This is the marriage my Father has arranged, and though I am frightened, I am also willing.  And to take the metaphor a bit farther, I am, in a sense, leaving my family, too.  I am leaving my church family for a new one.  I will go back for visits, but things will never be the same.  It is at once glorious and bittersweet.