Thursday, August 09, 2007

Tightly wound

I am pretty sure that normal people (ie, non full-time moms) have absolutely no idea what a thin edge we who stay home with our kids skate on all the time.

Take today for instance. For a month now, I have known that I was having lunch with my spiritual director. He knows that summer is more of a challenge because the kids are out of school. For the last two months I have managed to find a sitter for the kids and have met him at restaurants for our monthly lunch. It is far from ideal.... even if the food is good. It is hard to stay focused on pouring out one's soul when the waiter keeps stopping by to refill the water glasses.

So for the last couple of weeks I have been working on getting a baby sitter and finally scored one who will let the kids go to her house for a couple of hours.

Bliss, right? Homemade lunch. No waiters. My famous salad.

Except not.

When I called to check if I could drop the kids off a little earlier than we planned, said babysitter confessed that she has a track and field meeting and can't sit for them. Oh. I said. Next time it would be helpful if she gave me more than an hour's notice. She apologized profusely.

Quick call to Nguyen. Can he take the kids out for lunch?


I hung up and started crying.

Because it just sucks, sometimes, that a 14 year old has so much power over my life.

And then I stopped because I realize that it really isn't that big a deal.

Fr. P won't mind. The kids will be fine. I'll be fine.

But dang.


Nancy said...

I feel for you Rachel. I barely kept my sanity raising my kids. (I suppose some may question whether or not I did keep it!) I am forever grateful though that I could be a stay at home mom.

Rachel's Big Dunk said...

LOL, Nancy, I am not sure I can boast of staying sane, either. But yes, I am so grateful to be able to be home with them.

It really did turn out ok, yesterday. After lunch my SD and I retired to the front porch and left the kids to fend for themselves in the house and yard. We had about an hour of quiet conversation, which should just about hold me to next month!

My sweet friend/neighbor/regular reader saw my post yesterday and immediately called to offer to watch the kids. I had already taken the phone off the hook, otherwise she would've had herself a deal. But Amy, it sure made me feel loved. Thanks!

Mary Beth said...

Dang, is right!!