I am clinging to the sacraments. Today I decided to go to confession. I showed up at church at 4pm and sat in the nave. As my priest came in I asked if I could make a confession. He showed me where to sit and how to know when it is ok to come in to the little room. (At the appointed time the door will be open when he is free.)
There was another person there to confess, but I was there first, so I went in.
I had a few things I needed to share. I asked for counsel and absolution. I was humbled and saddened by my sins.
Afterwards I went to the little dock on the pond nearby and sat for awhile to think and pray. I recited the prayer of St. Francis aloud... and psalm 103, both of which remind me to keep my mind off myself and consider how I can be of service to others.
And then I went back to the church for the Pentecost service and cried through the entire thing... mostly for joy and gratitude for the fact that the depth of my sin is matched and far surpassed by the expansive love of God's forgiveness.
Come Holy Spirit. Come.