I am convinced I suffer from reverse seasonal affective disorder.
For me, Summer is a big challenge, and has been since I was a kid. I think it has something to do with the complete lack of structure. I am a person that is most creative within structure, and I am not terribly good at creating it for myself. This may explain my deep attraction to the liturgical and sacramental nature of the Episcopal Church.
So, while other folks are wistfully thinking about the end of beach days and travel, I am getting energized for the fall. I start looking forward to cool weather, the rhythm of the days and weeks falling into a pattern, the time alone, which this year I am trying to fill with at least one or two part time jobs. I have started planning my trip to Africa in January and am actually feeling optimistic that I will be able to do it.
I am excited for my brother and husband, too. I just have a gut feeling that things are shifting, not just for me, but for all the people I love. Last night I told my drumming teacher that I believe things are going to get better for him, too.
I don't know why I feel such optimism today. Is it the cool breeze that heralds the change in season? Is it that tomorrow is the first day of my new job? (I got a part time job at the crisis pregnancy center at which I have been volunteering. I am now the volunteer coordinator!) Is it that the kids go back to school tomorrow?
Or could it be that sometimes I remember that God is in charge of everything and because of that, we are always going to be ok in the end.
Welcome, Fall. I am happy to see you again.