I have been slacking a bit with my psalm reading at night, but last night I opened my prayer book and read, among other things, psalm 41. Maybe it is because of my weekly Lectio Divina practice, but something immediately jumped out at me:
Psa 41:3 The LORD sustains him on his sickbed; in his illness thou healest all his infirmities.
Psa 41:4 As for me, I said, "O LORD, be gracious to me; heal me, for I have sinned against thee!"
This blows my mind. What it says is that even in my sickness, God is with me. He heals me while I am sick. In other words, God's perfection doesn't hinge on my perfection. His perfection can, in fact, heal my imperfection.
How many times in my life have I thought I had to do the healing before asking for help? I'll join a gym after I have lost a few pounds. I'll ask for help with my finances after I have figured them out. It is human nature to want to avoid looking as sick and screwed up as we are.
But in God's grace, it doesn't work that way. We don't have to let shame keep us from him. We don't have to get well on our own before throwing in the towel and begging for his help and mercy. All we need to do is show up, hat in hand, and fall to our knees.
He will come to us, in our sickbed, and heal us.
Only you can heal me in my sickness. Thank you. Amen.