I have mentioned before that there are times when I inexplicably wake up in the pre-dawn darkness and can't get back to sleep. When this happens, I am usually wide awake. I don't toss and turn. It is not anxiety ridden insomnia, but rather an insistent, gentle, wakefulness that reminds me that the robber of Jesus' parable comes in the middle of the night.
If Nguyen weren't sleeping next to me, I might turn on the light and finish Thomas a Kempis, or get a head start on the morning psalms. Or read the book on prayer that Fr. P gave me. But as it is, I don't want to disturb my tired husband, so I lie awake and think over the week, and my upcoming confession, and repeat the name of my Beloved in my head and in my heart.
I pray.
Beloved,
Beloved,
Beloved....
I pray that N and J will come to know you. I pray that P will find a new confessor and that S will know your grace and love during this time of trial. I pray for my church and my denomination. I pray for the strength to avoid sin and the willingness to be your obedient servant.
Beloved...
I pray that when you come like a thief in the night, I will be awake
and waiting for you.
2 comments:
I understand that wakefulness, it is as if there is something more important than sleep- as if the Lord is calling us to prayer- to being with him! ... and I believe that it is in those times we are able to catch what is on Gods heart for he has our full attention!
Those are the best hours! get up and camp out in the dining room with
your books!Watch the sky turn cobalt over your cup of tea.
love,
urban mermaid
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