On Friday, out of nowhere, my left knee gave out. It got more and more sore. Yesterday I woke up and it was swollen and so painful I couldn't walk on it. I started downing ibuprofen and elevating it and icing it. What is really weird is that I cannot think of why it did this. There was no incident. No telltale "pop". Nothing of note. Just a gradual, increasing pain.
Today, I am lame. I didn't go to church because I wouldn't have been able to walk to the pew, never mind kneeling at the rail. (I can't bend it...)
I am trying to be calm about this, promising myself that I'll call the doctor tomorrow if it's not better. Trying not to dwell on the cold little fear in my gut that maybe I did something really really bad. Trying to be grateful for the extra time this has opened up for me to read my bible. (I am participating in a 'Bible in 90 days' group on a blog of the same name. I started about a week behind, but am almost caught up at this point. I have read several days worth over the last couple of days.)
My body is not my own.
My health is not my own.
I am yours. I offer this pain to you. I offer my swollen knee. I ask only for the grace to accept whatever is happening. To be fearless in your love. To thank you for the opportunity to spend more time with you.
To be fearless.