...But I have been reading over some of my earliest blog posts this morning, and it is amazing to revisit the early part of my walk with Christ. I don't think it is a coincidence that I started this blog in 2005, right about the time I left the Unitarian Universalist Church and began seeking a Christian community. This coincided with the 2nd anniversary of my baptism.
I visited a few Episcopal Churches, many of which have since closed. I visited a very soulful Roman Catholic church that moved me so much I cried through every service. It, too, has closed. I railed at God about throwing me in the desert to wander from place to place with no sense of home. Advent of that year was one of the darkest times I can remember.
But through it all I believe that God was working.
And looking over the old posts, I am moved by how evident it is that the Holy Spirit had my by the hand.
Praise to you, Lord Christ.
5 comments:
(I may have already said this in some comment. Sorry if I have.) A few months ago, I discovered your blog and read all the posts from the beginning. Watching the working of the Holy Spirit through your story was incredible. It buoyed my faith at a time I kind of needed that. Thank you.
Wendy, I am so glad to hear that my blog has been helpful to you. It is helpful to me, too! There was a bit of a hiatus at one point, but once again I am finding that writing about my walk with God is a blessing.
Thanks for commenting! And God bless you.
For me, it depends on what we means by ideas of "God working" or being led by the Holy Spirit.
In my sixteenth of a difficult degenerative disease, extremely rare and incurable, it's taken away far more from me and my loved ones than the extra bit of self knowledge it's given me. I was on a good path when it started and was not spiritually derailed, but in my seventh year of complete houseboundedness (if that's a word), I sure can't see the "hand of Providence" in what's happened to me. Or in all the world's miseries, too numerous and often too horrible to mention, that we wisely avoid or find cures for if we possibly can.
But I feel great peace and as close to God as I would have been had I been able to go the way joy instead of the way I have to go.
But if there had been a cure I absolutely would have taken it. Mentally it's been especially tough on my mom - not what I ever would have wanted to give her in her older years, nor can I imagine that her combination of Alzheimer's while watching her son go through all this has been the special and particular will of a loving God for her.
I just don't think God works that way.
Dearest Paul,
It is always an honor to have you post on this blog. I know it is not easy for you to write and I feel grateful when you do.
I admit I am fuzzy on the issue of suffering. It is very difficult for me to make sense of how it happens... or why.
I do not believe that God causes suffering. I do, however, believe that he suffers alongside us... and that he can give us the grace to get through. In that sense, I have seen the signs of his presence in all aspects of my life, from the great joys to the deep sorrows.
Know that you and your mother are in my prayers tonight.
Rachel,
Hello. Just came across your blog. Really enjoyed the read.
I'm an aspiring clergy-writer who's new to the Anglican tradition, and am trying to find Anglican readers. The title of my blog is "Musings of a Hard-Lining Moderate: The assorted thoughts of an evangelical Anglican."
Right now I'm doing a series on the doctrine of Scripture, which was prompted by the crisis in the global communion. Also wrote a post on the value of the christian calendar.
Don't know if you'd be interested, but here's the link: http://bit.ly/dXh2qd
Have a great day.
Grace & Peace,
Carson
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