I have been reading a book on discernment by Parker Palmer, a Quaker, called Let Your Life Speak.
I am doing this because a friend has asked me to be on her 'discernment team' and it is required reading by the diocese of RI.
I have gotten to a chapter that I am getting something out of. When Way Closes.
There is, evidently, a Quaker expression, 'way opens' when God means for you to go in a certain direction and the way opens before you. I have certainly had this happen in the past. It happened when I stumbled on Bell Street Chapel, my UU church. And again with Grace Church, my current, Episcopalian, church.
But the author says that there is another variation on this... when a door closes firmly behind you before the next door has opened.
This, too, is something I have experienced. I left Bell Street when I knew it was time to close that door, even though my next step was far from clear. I had no clue what denomination I was going to be. No clue what church I was going to join. No sense of direction at all.... except that the Unitarian Universalists were NOT it.
Lately I have felt way closing behind me and am totally unsure of the the way forward. I have basically stopped doing my kitchen tools business. I am thinking that sales is NOT my way. So far I haven't completely abandoned it... keeping my toe in the water just in case the inspiration hits me and I want to resume my business. But the truth is, I feel the door closing and it is a little scary because I don't have the next thing lined up. I have absolutely no idea, in fact, what the next thing might be.
Here's where I stand:
I love my church.
I love to play my drum.
I love teaching.
I love learning.
I need to make some money. (not too much...)
Lord, I am asking you to nudge me, ever so slightly, in the direction you wish for me to go.