Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Broken

Last Sunday my friend Phil came to drumming class and was excited that his friend Jon was going to join us, but he never showed up. Phil kept trying to reach him, and a couple days later finally talked to a co-worker who told him that Jon had committed suicide. He left 2 children younger than my boys. I have felt sick about it all week.

This morning, I got an email from an old friend I found on facebook. He told me that his younger brother had died by suicide a few years ago. I have been crying about it all day. Nguyen and I were really close to his family when we were in college and first married. In fact, Michael, the older brother, introduced Nguyen and I. We swapped out our volkswagen engine in their garage when they lived in RI. In 1991 we spent New Year's eve in Germany with them. It all came rushing back as I read the email this morning. Even though we haven't been in touch for awhile, you never really stop feeling like you know someone, do you? You never really stop feeling like a member of the family. So to hear about Ben, who was so sweet and gentle, is completely breaking my heart. I am heartbroken for him. I am grief stricken for his parents and his brothers.

God only knows what drives people to this. God only knows.

Lord, it is a broken world. There is so much pain. I pray that you sooth the hearts of those who grieve. Blessed are they that mourn, Lord.

Today Jon and Ben and their families are in my prayers.

6 comments:

aka The Swandive said...

Loneliness, despair, pain (gut wrenching, heart breaking, seemingly endless pain). These are just a few of the many reasons. Depression. Another reason.

I am so sorry Rachel, and simply join with you and all the company of the angels and saints, in prayer for these precious lives, gone. Bless you.

Ming said...

Jon
Ben
Jesu Mercy

Rachel Nguyen said...

Thank you both.

Urban Mermaid said...

I am sad for you. I have lost many friends to suicide by jumping, gassing,hanging,overdosing, and alcohol. They do it because they can't bear the pain. I often think of them when my pain is unbearable. So I understand. I am sorry. You are such a bright burning fire perhaps you have never entertained these desires to end your life. A few years ago I read Kay Jamison's book about suicide. It was helpful to me for trying to understand how complex and taboo this is for the surviving families.
Love,
Emily

Urban Mermaid said...

Night Falls Fast is the book about understanding suicide by Kay Jamison. My heart is with you.
Love,
Emily

Singing Owl said...

I'm so sorry and sad to read this. There have been several suicides in our small-town area lately. I don't know if it is my imagination or if suicide stats are going up.