Clean. Nose, mouth, ears, hands, feet. The plastic tessolet filled with water sat under the tree in the courtyard and several times a day my religious friends would perform their ablutions before unfurling their plastic prayer mats and laying them on the concrete paving stones to pray.
Then, stand, hands clasped, kneel, forehead to the ground, stand, kneel, hands together, words whispered silently to God.
I told one friend
'I think God smiles when you do that'.
The last time I saw Maze, was on the rooftop courtyard where he and Sidy's friends were recording Sidy's songs. After the recording was finished, Maze took a moment, as darkness descended, to walk off by himself on the other side of the roof. Overhead, the fruit bats were beginning to emerge from the giant mango trees and quietly make their way across the twilit sky. Maze's yellow shirt billowed a bit in the breeze as he turned his back to us, turned towards Mecca, turned his attention, towards God.
Later, saying goodbye for what turned out to be the last time, I remember seeing the yellow of his shirt as I leaned in for a final, formal, kiss on the cheek.
Friday, January 01, 2010
I don't know anything
I noticed that foreigners in Africa liked to assert what they knew as if it were fact. This is how the Africans feel about thus and so, an aid worker would say. This is what they think of this or that, or the other, over there.
We were driving along the streets at night and I noticed, over and over, brightly lit orange signs that simply said 'Orange'.
What is 'orange'? I wondered. Orange Juice? Orange Soda? Orange cigarettes? Candy? Gum? Condoms?
The signs were everywhere.
Finally, I asked Sidy. What is 'Orange'?
It is a cell phone company, he said.
Mali was like that. Most of the time I had no idea what I was looking at.
We were driving along the streets at night and I noticed, over and over, brightly lit orange signs that simply said 'Orange'.
What is 'orange'? I wondered. Orange Juice? Orange Soda? Orange cigarettes? Candy? Gum? Condoms?
The signs were everywhere.
Finally, I asked Sidy. What is 'Orange'?
It is a cell phone company, he said.
Mali was like that. Most of the time I had no idea what I was looking at.
The connection was lost
I tried to type on the dusty keyboard. The internet cafe was about 4 blocks from our house and I had been meaning to take the short walk so I could reconnect with home, send an email or two, post a brief comment on this blog. But though I managed to negotiate the price and get online, I realized as soon as I started typing that the keyboard was laid out in the French way, with the Q and W and T all in different places.
So even that. Even typing, which comes so naturally to me now, even that was foreign. Required careful, slow, hunt and peck to circumvent the wiring in my brain that said that a 'T' should go there and a 'Q' belonged over here.
I had paid for 30 minutes. I assumed that would be more than enough time, even with the ancient computer on old fashioned dial up. But by the end of the 30 minutes, I had barely managed to type a paragraph or two.
As I was walking back to the house I realized I had nothing to say anyway.
So even that. Even typing, which comes so naturally to me now, even that was foreign. Required careful, slow, hunt and peck to circumvent the wiring in my brain that said that a 'T' should go there and a 'Q' belonged over here.
I had paid for 30 minutes. I assumed that would be more than enough time, even with the ancient computer on old fashioned dial up. But by the end of the 30 minutes, I had barely managed to type a paragraph or two.
As I was walking back to the house I realized I had nothing to say anyway.
Scenes from Bamako
I was riding in a cab. Sidy, Lisa and Rusty were in the back. I was in the front. The window was open and we were speeding down the main road, passing vendors with vegetables on their heads, kids selling phone cards at stop lights, guys with rusty blue carts upended on the curb waiting for someone to hire them. Green buses zig zagging in and out of traffic. Then the river, spread out clean and beautiful and serene below the bridge. Walled compounds. Beautiful people. Red dust and diesel fumes hanging in the air.
And I thought to myself, I don't understand what I am seeing. I am seeing it, but I can't interpret it. I can't imagine how I would possibly describe what it was like to be there.
Perhaps it is an American thing, to always want to explain things. To analyze them. To make sense or meaning from what you observe or experience.
But I knew at that moment, in the cab, that there was no explaining. All I could do was see.
And I thought to myself, I don't understand what I am seeing. I am seeing it, but I can't interpret it. I can't imagine how I would possibly describe what it was like to be there.
Perhaps it is an American thing, to always want to explain things. To analyze them. To make sense or meaning from what you observe or experience.
But I knew at that moment, in the cab, that there was no explaining. All I could do was see.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Heavy
A friend commented today that although she knows I love my job, she also can tell that it weighs heavily on me. She can tell that I am juggling a LOT of balls and am sometimes overwhelmed by it all. And it is true, I do feel the weight of it, even as I try very hard to share the load with Christ Jesus. It is not all mine, Lord. It is not all mine.
And I am even juggling too many balls at church. Today, for example, I facilitated Lectio Divina, lit the Advent candles during the service, read the 2nd lesson, did healing prayer in the Messiah Chapel during communion and had 3 conversations about stewardship during coffee hour. Yesterday I clipped greenery in the pouring rain for two hours so we could use the greens to decorate the church. On Friday afternoon, I rushed Noah through rush hour traffic to get him to Grace for a field trip. And tonight have to go back to Grace again to pick him up from the youth group.
It was a weekend that saw very little in the way of rest and renewal... and that is an issue since I am expending so much energy at my work during the week. I really (really) need some down time. That is absolutely clear to me.
I need to take my dog for a walk. Alone.
Listen Handel's Messiah.
Light some smelly nice candles.
Schedule absolutely NOTHING on my day off.
Make a giant pot of soup to eat all week so I don't have to cook every day.
Read scripture. (Suggestions welcome)
Investigate a silent retreat of some sort. Maybe it is time to visit St. Margret's in Boston.
Pray to Jesus that he give me the strength and courage and perseverance to carry on.
On a happy note: Last year a friend came up to healing prayer one Sunday because he was scheduled for carpel tunnel surgery on his wrists. We prayed over him, laid hands on him and sent him on his way. When he went to the surgeon for the pre-op exam, the surgeon was surprised to discover that he no longer needed it.
Praise God. Thank you, Lord, for the miracle of prayer.
Amen and amen.
And I am even juggling too many balls at church. Today, for example, I facilitated Lectio Divina, lit the Advent candles during the service, read the 2nd lesson, did healing prayer in the Messiah Chapel during communion and had 3 conversations about stewardship during coffee hour. Yesterday I clipped greenery in the pouring rain for two hours so we could use the greens to decorate the church. On Friday afternoon, I rushed Noah through rush hour traffic to get him to Grace for a field trip. And tonight have to go back to Grace again to pick him up from the youth group.
It was a weekend that saw very little in the way of rest and renewal... and that is an issue since I am expending so much energy at my work during the week. I really (really) need some down time. That is absolutely clear to me.
I need to take my dog for a walk. Alone.
Listen Handel's Messiah.
Light some smelly nice candles.
Schedule absolutely NOTHING on my day off.
Make a giant pot of soup to eat all week so I don't have to cook every day.
Read scripture. (Suggestions welcome)
Investigate a silent retreat of some sort. Maybe it is time to visit St. Margret's in Boston.
Pray to Jesus that he give me the strength and courage and perseverance to carry on.
On a happy note: Last year a friend came up to healing prayer one Sunday because he was scheduled for carpel tunnel surgery on his wrists. We prayed over him, laid hands on him and sent him on his way. When he went to the surgeon for the pre-op exam, the surgeon was surprised to discover that he no longer needed it.
Praise God. Thank you, Lord, for the miracle of prayer.
Amen and amen.
God inside
I have been lucky enough to meet people who radiate God's love. You can feel it when you are near them.
When I meet people like that I want to pull up a chair and sit for awhile,
Basking in the flow of God love energy.
When I meet people like that I want to pull up a chair and sit for awhile,
Basking in the flow of God love energy.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thoughts on the Trinitiy
Some snippets from an ongoing email conversation with a friend:
I am a trinitarian through and through. Frankly, I never really understood Unitarian theology very clearly. It is something about God choosing a guy named Jesus and elevating him to semi-deity status.
To me, that is just not scriptural. John clearly states that the Word was God, was with God, was made flesh and dwelt among us. And that the Word existed before the beginning of time. Also, I don't think there is a place in Unitarian theology for the Holy Spirit. Being something of a charismatic, that just doesn't work for me.
I really don't understand the theology well. And I realize that Jesus himself did not refer to himself on equal par with the Father. But the trinity has been a joyful discovery for me. When I finally became a Christian and began to realize that God himself walked among us, it
changed things for me. I just love the incarnation thing, I guess. I love the spirit thing and the creator thing, too, come to think of it.
To model oneself on the life of Jesus is a fine thing to do, but isn't actually possible to achieve without a supernatural sanctification process going on too. To me, wanting to be a good person isn't enough to overcome our natural tendency to be assholes. I am not sure whether we are born with original sin... or are just subject to inevitable sin, but either way, it seems like there is something in our natures that draws us into separation from God. And while we can do things to try and mitigate that, I think that without God's help, we are incapable of true 'goodness'.
Whether one believes in a supernatural sanctification process is almost beside the point. A life lived in Christ is a life lived in Christ. It is the result of Christ's action in the world even if you don't necessarily recognize it as such.
I believe that where goodness exists, it is necessarily an action of Christ, whether it is recognized or not.
How about you, dear readers.... any thoughts on the trinity? Post them in the comments!
I am a trinitarian through and through. Frankly, I never really understood Unitarian theology very clearly. It is something about God choosing a guy named Jesus and elevating him to semi-deity status.
To me, that is just not scriptural. John clearly states that the Word was God, was with God, was made flesh and dwelt among us. And that the Word existed before the beginning of time. Also, I don't think there is a place in Unitarian theology for the Holy Spirit. Being something of a charismatic, that just doesn't work for me.
I really don't understand the theology well. And I realize that Jesus himself did not refer to himself on equal par with the Father. But the trinity has been a joyful discovery for me. When I finally became a Christian and began to realize that God himself walked among us, it
changed things for me. I just love the incarnation thing, I guess. I love the spirit thing and the creator thing, too, come to think of it.
To model oneself on the life of Jesus is a fine thing to do, but isn't actually possible to achieve without a supernatural sanctification process going on too. To me, wanting to be a good person isn't enough to overcome our natural tendency to be assholes. I am not sure whether we are born with original sin... or are just subject to inevitable sin, but either way, it seems like there is something in our natures that draws us into separation from God. And while we can do things to try and mitigate that, I think that without God's help, we are incapable of true 'goodness'.
Whether one believes in a supernatural sanctification process is almost beside the point. A life lived in Christ is a life lived in Christ. It is the result of Christ's action in the world even if you don't necessarily recognize it as such.
I believe that where goodness exists, it is necessarily an action of Christ, whether it is recognized or not.
How about you, dear readers.... any thoughts on the trinity? Post them in the comments!
Monday, November 09, 2009
The Jesus prayer
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner....
I breathe this prayer in and out when I am agitated or depressed and the wave of Peace washes over me. Thank you, Jesus, for this breath prayer, for this body prayer, for this heart prayer.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner....
I breathe this prayer in and out when I am agitated or depressed and the wave of Peace washes over me. Thank you, Jesus, for this breath prayer, for this body prayer, for this heart prayer.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Paper bag
I feel, sometimes, like I am trying to carry too many groceries in a bag that is a little tattered. There are holes. The top is frayed. Stuff pokes out.
And not pretty stuff, either. Not the baguettes and a bottle of wine. Not fruit and cheese.
Nope. What slips out of my ratty old bag is a half eaten bologna sandwich and a banana peel.
(What in God's name is she going on about, you ask.)
I am carrying too much sometimes. Too much at work. Too much in my family. Too much in my church, even. Just too much stuff. And most of it is high quality, good stuff. But what comes tumbling out of my bag when the seams begin to pull apart is the darkness. The isolation. The frustration, the exhaustion.
At least, that is what pours out when you ask me to put the bag down, empty the contents on the table and begin to try and sort through it all.
This morning, I almost couldn't fit it all back inside.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Read James 1
Right now. I'll wait.
.......
There.
Don't you agree that that first chapter is enough for, say, a lifetime of work? I joked in Bible study that I need to put the whole chapter, maybe the whole book, on my fridge.
Thank you, Beloved, for the book of James.
It speaks volumes to me, today.
I want to sell all that I own and give it to the poor. I want to apologize to my husband for speaking out in anger this morning. I want to love my neighbor as myself.
I want to honor you, Lord, not just in word, but in thought and deed as well.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
.......
There.
Don't you agree that that first chapter is enough for, say, a lifetime of work? I joked in Bible study that I need to put the whole chapter, maybe the whole book, on my fridge.
Thank you, Beloved, for the book of James.
It speaks volumes to me, today.
I want to sell all that I own and give it to the poor. I want to apologize to my husband for speaking out in anger this morning. I want to love my neighbor as myself.
I want to honor you, Lord, not just in word, but in thought and deed as well.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Praise God
I planned to go back to bed this morning, to catch up on some sleep before my long, late shift at work, but couldn't because I was too excited about things.
Pray and fast.
Fast and pray.
Pray ceaselessly.
Pray.
And then prayers get answered in ways you could never, ever, predict.
Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. Isaiah 65:17
Pray and fast.
Fast and pray.
Pray ceaselessly.
Pray.
And then prayers get answered in ways you could never, ever, predict.
Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. Isaiah 65:17
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The 50 million
I was talking to a fellow about CareNet-RI.
"I am pro-abortion" He said.
I didn't respond.
"I was around before Roe v. Wade. People died because of illegal abortions." He continued.
People have died since Roe v. Wade, too, I thought to myself.
50 million of them.
"I am pro-abortion" He said.
I didn't respond.
"I was around before Roe v. Wade. People died because of illegal abortions." He continued.
People have died since Roe v. Wade, too, I thought to myself.
50 million of them.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Apple Cranberry Pie
Here's the pie recipe that won Emmett and me third place in the Ledge Farm CSA pie contest today:
Crust:
3 cups white flour, sifted. (We forgot to sift, but no harm done apparently)
2/3 cup lard, cubed
1/3 cup sweet butter, cubed
a generous pinch of salt
9 T ice water
Place flour, salt, butter and lard into the cuisinart and pulse for a couple of seconds until the butter and lard are pea sized and evenly distributed through the flour. Add 9 tablespoons of ice water through the tube and pulse just until the dough begins to form. Empty onto a piece of cling wrap and form into a ball. Wrap and stick in the fridge to chill.
Meanwhile:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Filling:
5 or 6 apples, peeled, cored and sliced.
1 cup cranberries
1/4 cup flour
1/2 cup white sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
the zest of about a half lemon
1 t cinnamon
1/2 t allspice
1 t salt
Mix everything in a bowl. Taste. Yum!
Take pie dough out of the fridge and cut into 2 parts, with one part being a bit bigger. Roll that part out on a floured board while the other piece goes back in the fridge. Line a pie plate and dump the fruit on top. Roll out the top crust and place on the pie. Trim edges then crimp with a fork dipped in flour. Put in the oven and back 1 hour until done.
Crust:
3 cups white flour, sifted. (We forgot to sift, but no harm done apparently)
2/3 cup lard, cubed
1/3 cup sweet butter, cubed
a generous pinch of salt
9 T ice water
Place flour, salt, butter and lard into the cuisinart and pulse for a couple of seconds until the butter and lard are pea sized and evenly distributed through the flour. Add 9 tablespoons of ice water through the tube and pulse just until the dough begins to form. Empty onto a piece of cling wrap and form into a ball. Wrap and stick in the fridge to chill.
Meanwhile:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Filling:
5 or 6 apples, peeled, cored and sliced.
1 cup cranberries
1/4 cup flour
1/2 cup white sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
the zest of about a half lemon
1 t cinnamon
1/2 t allspice
1 t salt
Mix everything in a bowl. Taste. Yum!
Take pie dough out of the fridge and cut into 2 parts, with one part being a bit bigger. Roll that part out on a floured board while the other piece goes back in the fridge. Line a pie plate and dump the fruit on top. Roll out the top crust and place on the pie. Trim edges then crimp with a fork dipped in flour. Put in the oven and back 1 hour until done.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Wood, Skin, Iron
Gentle tree
A drum shell,
A chair,
A cross.
The hide of a goat becomes a wineskin, a drum head, a lash.
Iron, from deep in the earth
Like a root,
a sword, a ring
or the nails that held you up, Lord.
A drum shell,
A chair,
A cross.
The hide of a goat becomes a wineskin, a drum head, a lash.
Iron, from deep in the earth
Like a root,
a sword, a ring
or the nails that held you up, Lord.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Africa stories
Today, Africa was on my mind.
I listened to the music I recorded while I was there. Immediately I was brought back to that evening on the balcony, with Sidy and Maze and Yacouba and the rest. Maze wearing his yellow shirt and playing his jaunty new, yellow trimmed drum. I could see the bats and smell the night air of Bamako.
My memories of Mali will always be bittersweet for me, I think, now that Maze is dead. It has been 5 months since he died and I am still caught by surprise by grief.
I am dreaming of red dust and prayer trees. I am dreaming of homemade wooden benches and brightly colored tessolets. I hear the sound of the call to prayer and it brings me home, back, there.
As a young adult, I thought my adopted culture was Japanese. The structure and formality and hierarchy beckoned. The control. And the seething emotion just under the surface.
But no. Not Japan. Not formality. In the drum rhythms there is an intricacy and complexity, but it isn't stiff and formal. It is wild, it swings, it beckons and draws you near and if you let it, it seeps into you and animates you like nothing else every will.
I danced to the sabar the other night. I couldn't find the rhythm. It was an otherworldly sound. But the drummer invited me to dance with him and I closed my eyes and let his drum speak to my limbs, my core, my soul. I just gave my body over to the sound of his stick and hand slapping the surface of the drum, whack, and I moved, whack, and my arms flailed wild, whack, and then it was over and I went back to dance on the sidelines.
I have no fear anymore. No fear that I look like a fool or that I can't dance as well as an African. I have no fear. I have learned that from the drum, I think.
And the queens, the Jeli women, in their stunning dresses and big head wraps and their beautiful kind words to me. When they tell me I am family, I believe them, though I don't know their names or how they are connected. Yet, we are family. Yes. I believe it.
And God, who is so big he can hold us all in his love. God, who speaks to me in the sound of the drum and the flight of a giant fruit bat and the song of the call to prayer and the red dusty leaves of the prayer tree.... God is in the midst of it all.
Africa haunted me today.
I listened to the music I recorded while I was there. Immediately I was brought back to that evening on the balcony, with Sidy and Maze and Yacouba and the rest. Maze wearing his yellow shirt and playing his jaunty new, yellow trimmed drum. I could see the bats and smell the night air of Bamako.
My memories of Mali will always be bittersweet for me, I think, now that Maze is dead. It has been 5 months since he died and I am still caught by surprise by grief.
I am dreaming of red dust and prayer trees. I am dreaming of homemade wooden benches and brightly colored tessolets. I hear the sound of the call to prayer and it brings me home, back, there.
As a young adult, I thought my adopted culture was Japanese. The structure and formality and hierarchy beckoned. The control. And the seething emotion just under the surface.
But no. Not Japan. Not formality. In the drum rhythms there is an intricacy and complexity, but it isn't stiff and formal. It is wild, it swings, it beckons and draws you near and if you let it, it seeps into you and animates you like nothing else every will.
I danced to the sabar the other night. I couldn't find the rhythm. It was an otherworldly sound. But the drummer invited me to dance with him and I closed my eyes and let his drum speak to my limbs, my core, my soul. I just gave my body over to the sound of his stick and hand slapping the surface of the drum, whack, and I moved, whack, and my arms flailed wild, whack, and then it was over and I went back to dance on the sidelines.
I have no fear anymore. No fear that I look like a fool or that I can't dance as well as an African. I have no fear. I have learned that from the drum, I think.
And the queens, the Jeli women, in their stunning dresses and big head wraps and their beautiful kind words to me. When they tell me I am family, I believe them, though I don't know their names or how they are connected. Yet, we are family. Yes. I believe it.
And God, who is so big he can hold us all in his love. God, who speaks to me in the sound of the drum and the flight of a giant fruit bat and the song of the call to prayer and the red dusty leaves of the prayer tree.... God is in the midst of it all.
Africa haunted me today.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Out on a limb
Oh, wait,
I am there.
I have stepped out on a limb.
(Can you pray for me, please?)
Fear has left for the night. The door swings closed behind him.
Because Christ has entered the house
And will sit with me for awhile.
I am there.
I have stepped out on a limb.
(Can you pray for me, please?)
Fear has left for the night. The door swings closed behind him.
Because Christ has entered the house
And will sit with me for awhile.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
I need to remember
in the midst of the busy-ness, to pray. I need to pray to God right now.
Lord. I am sometimes afraid of this path you have called me to walk. I am afraid. Please, Lord, please help me turn that fear over to you. I am not brave, but I am willing. I am not strong, but I am obedient. I am not courageous, but I want to do your will in all things. Is that enough, Lord? Is it enough for me to want to do your will? Do you, then, fill in the blanks? Do you hold my hand in the dark places?
Lord, I wish I were brave for you. I wish I were strong for you. I wish, Lord, that I wasn't afraid.
But I will do it anyway, Lord. I will walk on this path anyway... despite my fears.
Lord. I am sometimes afraid of this path you have called me to walk. I am afraid. Please, Lord, please help me turn that fear over to you. I am not brave, but I am willing. I am not strong, but I am obedient. I am not courageous, but I want to do your will in all things. Is that enough, Lord? Is it enough for me to want to do your will? Do you, then, fill in the blanks? Do you hold my hand in the dark places?
Lord, I wish I were brave for you. I wish I were strong for you. I wish, Lord, that I wasn't afraid.
But I will do it anyway, Lord. I will walk on this path anyway... despite my fears.
Friday, August 14, 2009
In the groove
You know when you feel like you are moving along and suddenly realize that everything is falling into place in an uncanny way? Weird coincidences start happening. Delightful little moments when things come together effortlessly?
Jung called it synchronicity. New age folks might say that they are in harmony with the Universe. For Christians, it is sense that you are being blessed by God and he is dropping little breadcrumbs to keep you on the path.
At CareNet, lately, the breadcrumbs have been falling like Manna. Every day there is some new, wonderful, example of the Holy Spirit joyfully playing with us.
Examples:
On our new Client Service's manager's first day, she was driving to work and noticed a car on a flat bed tow truck in front of her. The license plate was an unusual woman's name. A few minutes later, she came in and discovered that her first client had that same name.
While searching for property for CareNet, my agent and I drove by a beautiful huge victorian house on Broad Street and I said 'That is exactly the kind of place I am looking for for CareNet." The next day my agent found out that the owner of the victorian was listing with her company to lease office space.
There have been dozens of examples of this kind of thing over the last few weeks. At the office, we call them 'God sightings'. They make us feel like we are in the groove. In harmony with the Universe. Blessed.
Jung called it synchronicity. New age folks might say that they are in harmony with the Universe. For Christians, it is sense that you are being blessed by God and he is dropping little breadcrumbs to keep you on the path.
At CareNet, lately, the breadcrumbs have been falling like Manna. Every day there is some new, wonderful, example of the Holy Spirit joyfully playing with us.
Examples:
On our new Client Service's manager's first day, she was driving to work and noticed a car on a flat bed tow truck in front of her. The license plate was an unusual woman's name. A few minutes later, she came in and discovered that her first client had that same name.
While searching for property for CareNet, my agent and I drove by a beautiful huge victorian house on Broad Street and I said 'That is exactly the kind of place I am looking for for CareNet." The next day my agent found out that the owner of the victorian was listing with her company to lease office space.
There have been dozens of examples of this kind of thing over the last few weeks. At the office, we call them 'God sightings'. They make us feel like we are in the groove. In harmony with the Universe. Blessed.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
1000
The Chinese have a dish called 1000 year old eggs. They take a duck or chicken egg, wrap it in clay with lime and ash and bury it in the ground. After awhile, the egg basically cooks from the chemical reaction to the coating. You wash it off, break it open and have a kind of pickled egg that has a totally unique flavor. It doesn't really take 1000 years. Maybe a few weeks. Or months. But it is a long time.
I feel a little like I have aged a 1000 years in the last couple of weeks. Something has shifted since I started my new job. The job is intense... in a way that nothing I have ever done has been. And not in a bad way. In the way that requires us to strip away all our defenses and get right to the core of ourselves. We all sort of feel like we have to do this because the nature of the job is so, well, real. The women who come to see us are real. The interactions between the employees. The reality of what we are doing is never lost on us. We feel a sense of humble gratitude to be actively bringing about the Kingdom every day, even as we are fully aware that it is, indeed, a cross to bear. And bear it we do. We work together beautifully, honestly, gratefully. We start every day with prayer. We stop to pray in the midst of the busy moments. We cling, literally cling, to God.
We feel a sense of the enormity of what is at stake. We respect it. But together we try very hard not to slip into fear. That is where our faith comes together. That is where we bolster each other up. We each, in the last few weeks, have had moments of fear and even despair. But we have been allowed those moments and are supported and lifted by each other's faith every day.
What an amazing experience it is to work in an environment like that. I have never been so grateful for a job in my life. I work with spiritual giants, I am telling you. It is an incredible privilege.
And even when it gets hard, which it has and will, I am fully aware that, like the egg, there is treasure inside.
I feel a little like I have aged a 1000 years in the last couple of weeks. Something has shifted since I started my new job. The job is intense... in a way that nothing I have ever done has been. And not in a bad way. In the way that requires us to strip away all our defenses and get right to the core of ourselves. We all sort of feel like we have to do this because the nature of the job is so, well, real. The women who come to see us are real. The interactions between the employees. The reality of what we are doing is never lost on us. We feel a sense of humble gratitude to be actively bringing about the Kingdom every day, even as we are fully aware that it is, indeed, a cross to bear. And bear it we do. We work together beautifully, honestly, gratefully. We start every day with prayer. We stop to pray in the midst of the busy moments. We cling, literally cling, to God.
We feel a sense of the enormity of what is at stake. We respect it. But together we try very hard not to slip into fear. That is where our faith comes together. That is where we bolster each other up. We each, in the last few weeks, have had moments of fear and even despair. But we have been allowed those moments and are supported and lifted by each other's faith every day.
What an amazing experience it is to work in an environment like that. I have never been so grateful for a job in my life. I work with spiritual giants, I am telling you. It is an incredible privilege.
And even when it gets hard, which it has and will, I am fully aware that, like the egg, there is treasure inside.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Updates
Yeah, I am still here.
And I am doing great, actually. Tired most of the time from my hectic new schedule of, oh, say, 3 jobs plus having a pair of kids at home for the summer. Hmm. Make that 5 jobs if you count the kids and my unpaid but very busy job as my drum teacher's business manager.
But it is all good these days.
Here's the latest:
Job 1. Kids. Great. They are about old enough to fend for themselves of an afternoon. Nguyen is only a few blocks away. My mom watches them for one day. And on the days I am not working, I cherish just hanging with them.
Job 2. My client. This has been very rough indeed. I have been unable to keep up a regular schedule for her due to job 3, so I spend a lot of time thinking and praying for her, but feeling very sad about the lack of time. Please, please, keep her in your prayers.
Job 3. The big NEW job. I am having an amazing first couple of weeks at CareNet, RI as the new executive director. And no, it's not the big leather chair, or even the huge office. It is the fact that I get to work at a place where we start the day with.... prayer. How amazing is that? I love the women I work with. I love the clients. And I love the fact that God joins us every day and opens doors we never even knew existed. What IS CareNet, you ask? We are a pregnancy resource center for women facing unplanned pregnancies. We offer women complete information so they can make informed choices about what they are going to do. We offer free everything, from pregnancy tests to limited ultrasounds to parenting classes, childbirth classes, doula support at their birth, mom's groups, post abortion counciling, outreach. It's God's work. No question about it. And it is my great priviledge to have been called to such an important task.
Job 4. Pampered Chef. Not so much. A show here or there... but winding down. I just don't have time for pots and pans these days, even in my own kitchen.
Job 5. Another real joy. I am the business manager for Sidy Maiga, an extremely gifted djembefola and my dear teacher. We are working on a BIG West African party for the end of September and I couldn't be more excited. I have a fabulous dress to wear and will be keeping y'all posted on the particulars. But for now, pencil in the 26th of September and be prepared to DANCE.
And I am doing great, actually. Tired most of the time from my hectic new schedule of, oh, say, 3 jobs plus having a pair of kids at home for the summer. Hmm. Make that 5 jobs if you count the kids and my unpaid but very busy job as my drum teacher's business manager.
But it is all good these days.
Here's the latest:
Job 1. Kids. Great. They are about old enough to fend for themselves of an afternoon. Nguyen is only a few blocks away. My mom watches them for one day. And on the days I am not working, I cherish just hanging with them.
Job 2. My client. This has been very rough indeed. I have been unable to keep up a regular schedule for her due to job 3, so I spend a lot of time thinking and praying for her, but feeling very sad about the lack of time. Please, please, keep her in your prayers.
Job 3. The big NEW job. I am having an amazing first couple of weeks at CareNet, RI as the new executive director. And no, it's not the big leather chair, or even the huge office. It is the fact that I get to work at a place where we start the day with.... prayer. How amazing is that? I love the women I work with. I love the clients. And I love the fact that God joins us every day and opens doors we never even knew existed. What IS CareNet, you ask? We are a pregnancy resource center for women facing unplanned pregnancies. We offer women complete information so they can make informed choices about what they are going to do. We offer free everything, from pregnancy tests to limited ultrasounds to parenting classes, childbirth classes, doula support at their birth, mom's groups, post abortion counciling, outreach. It's God's work. No question about it. And it is my great priviledge to have been called to such an important task.
Job 4. Pampered Chef. Not so much. A show here or there... but winding down. I just don't have time for pots and pans these days, even in my own kitchen.
Job 5. Another real joy. I am the business manager for Sidy Maiga, an extremely gifted djembefola and my dear teacher. We are working on a BIG West African party for the end of September and I couldn't be more excited. I have a fabulous dress to wear and will be keeping y'all posted on the particulars. But for now, pencil in the 26th of September and be prepared to DANCE.
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